The biggest question we are all trying to answer at this point is how marriage benefits the 21st-century woman who is empowered enough to have the financial independence that has always been the preserve of men.
When you look at marriage with all honesty and objectivity you realize that it does not benefit women much and most of the time they short-change themselves while in it.
Here is how it happens and what they can do to avoid the misfortune of giving too much of themselves in a venture that isn’t too beneficial to them in the long run.
Quitting Employment To Stay At Home.
The burden of raising kids while you are working is hard but it can be done. It has been done before and it is presently being done by many across the world.
Many times women quit their jobs to have children and be full-time wives, which is one way they self-sabotage inside marriages.
First, it is hard to get back into employment after having children. Many employers are hesitant about hiring mothers because they consider them to be committed to their children more than their jobs
Secondly, quitting your job opens you up to financial abuse because it means you’ll lack income and be dependent on another party.
Paying All The Household Bills.
In most situations, people consider household bills the cheapest expense, which isn’t true. With inflation and a dollar that rises every day, the prices of household items including groceries have gone up and women still take up this burden without knowing they are being short-changed.
A person needs to sit down with a calculator and count how much they spend in a household before they fully commit to it without asking for help.
Contributing To Buying Properties That Never Include Their Names.
Investing in marriage is often left in the hands of men and this is one of the most terrible mistakes women make while in marriage.
The new Marriage Act in Kenya for example requires you to prove your contribution and how can you if none of the properties you contributed to are in your name?
As a woman, it is very important for you to make sure every family asset is jointly owned. You cannot take loans from banks and chamas without being keen enough to know how your money is being invested and expect it to end well. It usually ends in tears during divorce when you have to show what you brought to the table during your years of marriage.
Taking Loans On Behalf Of Your Husband.
I understand the need of helping a partner when they are in need but one thing women fail to be fully aware of is that marriages do end.
You must protect your assets even where there is love but women always seem to give money to men blindly.
This makes them end up paying debts they incurred for someone else and thus being pushed further into the poverty line.
I am not saying that you shouldn’t help your partner. I am saying that you should make sure everything is put into writing and that there’s a payment plan where you take a loan for someone.
Documenting everything will save you from so many headaches.
Taking Up All The House Chores.
This can largely be blamed on our upbringing. We grew up in a society where roles were gendered and while we have evolved, cooking and cleaning are still seen as womanly roles.
There’s nothing wrong with cooking for your husband but there’s everything wrong with doing that while you are contributing financially to the household.
Many households today cannot survive on one income only. If a household is going to be a two-income household then it is only fair that both parties contribute equally to the reproductive labour at home or else one person in the marriage is short-changing the other.
Read More: Civil Marriage Requirements In Kenya